What is the Body Language of Attraction?

Hi guys, Nikki here

Thanks for visiting my blog. In this blog I’ll discuss body language of attraction – creating attraction by using body language.

Here you will find answers to questions like: Is body language really important in terms of social interactions and attraction? How can we read other people’s body language signs of attraction? How can we use our own body language to project attractiveness?

But before we get started I want to make clear what body language really is:

Body language is a nonverbal form of communication wherein a person expresses feelings, thoughts and intentions with his/hers physical behavior.

Does body language of attraction matter in social interactions?


The answer is a big YES! It matters a lot. Why? We all use body language subconsciously to express our emotions and feelings. And we all read body language subconsciously.

We pick on signals other people send via their body language to get a better understanding of them.

But it happens subconsciously – we don’t understand why we feel, for example attraction, disinterest or disrespect toward someone, we just feel that way.

The truth is that the way we feel about someone I determined by a lot of factors and body language is a big one.

When people communicate 20% of the information exchanged is verbal content, 20% is vocal tonality and 60% is body language. More than half of the information exchanged between people during interaction is body language. Body language is more important than what you say or how you say it.

99% of the people on this planet don’t know that. They don’t know that body language attraction is a powerful tool that can used to improve every area of our social life.


Having the ability to consciously read other people’s body language gives one a huge advantage because he/she can see their unspoken emotions, thoughts and intentions.

By reading the body language signs of attraction we can know if someone really is interested in us or not, no matter what they say.

You will read information, people are not aware they are giving out.

Furthermore, one can also use consciously use his/hers own body language to change how people perceive them.

If you’re a man and you can read the female body language attraction and use your own male body language attraction, you will have a big competitive advantage over the other guys in most social interactions.

How can we use the body language to make other people attracted toward us?

Say you are a guy like me and you want to pick up hot girls and like me when you get your chance you fail miserably. You are scared to approach or you don’t know what to say, or you know what to say, you two have a good time but at the end she puts you in the friend zone, it doesn’t matter.

Girl rejection

It happens to a lot of us guys and is really frustrating. Every time I wanted to pick up a girl, something went wrong, I just couldn’t do it.

I didn’t understand why. What was wrong with me? Was I ugly or stupid or boring?

And then I read a book about picking up girls and it all became clear. I was doing all the wrong things, I didn’t have the proper body language to attract women, my approach mechanism was messed up and I couldn’t understand her body language.

The first shocker for me was that women trust your body language more than they trust your words.


Because people can lie, but body language never lies, it’s a subconscious form of communication. You can’t convince someone to like you because they should, a girl never thinks stuff like: “I should like him, because he is a nice guy, he is smart, financially stable and mature”. Attraction doesn’t work like that, attraction doesn’t follow logical patterns.

We have all seen hot girls fall for douchebags and guys who are obviously not good for them and at the same time the nice guys are left out to dry. Why?

Because the douche bags have the body language of attraction and most of the nice guys have the body language of a wuss. Douche bags show confidence with their body language, which women find very attractive and nice guys usually show submissive body language, which is unattractive to women.

You can be smart, fun, charming, great guy but if you don’t have the proper body language attraction, you are going to have a very hard time attracting women and people overall.

You can say whatever you want but if your body language is all wrong they won’t be attracted to you. But if you use the body language of attraction properly they will feel attracted to you, which something I think everyone would love to have in their arsenal of social skills.

About that book that I mentioned earlier, if you want to know the book is called The Tao Of Badass.


Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s an ebook for men teaching how to pick up chicks, how to meet girls, get a girlfriend, anything in those lines.

It shows you how to be attractive, with heavy emphasis on using body language to attract women. I personally think it’s a great book with very helpful content for guys.

Not only it teaches one how to pick up girls in general but it shows you how to be more confident and interact with people better overall. It helps you improve your social skills on every level, which is awesome. Here is a screenshot of the contents of the book, if you want to see the chapters:

Tao of Badass proof

For me the book really helped me turn from a wuss into a real man. Now, I am not saying that I slept with 100 or 1000 girls, after reading this book, I am not the womanizer type.

I really wanted this one particular girl that I met 3 years ago, but she is really hot and I was a wuss. After going through the book and following all the advice I became more confident, my social skills improved, my anxiety was gone. So, I found this girl, she fell for me and now she is my girlfriend.

The book helped me become a man and get the girl I want.

Apart from the book itself, there is an online members area where there are dozens of instructional videos, a ton of bonus material and you can interact with other members:

Tao of Badass members Area

I strongly recommend this book to all of you guys, there is so much great information in it, whether you want to pick up chicks, get a girlfriend or just interact with people better, understand more about body language of attraction, it can help you.

It’s not a magic pill however. You are not going to hook up with a dozen girls 30 mins after reading the book. You need to apply the knowledge and it takes time to master it.

Check it out, you won’t regret it.

Click Here To Visit The Tao Of Badass Website.

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Dominant Body Language Attraction

One of the most important aspect of male body language attraction is to project confidence. Women love confident and dominant guys and if you can successfully project dominant body language, women will pick up on that and will be attracted to you.

In this article I will show you how to show you’re dominant via your body language.


But be careful, since Dominant body language is one of the most overcompensated and misunderstood areas of the body language of attraction.

People who are afraid of being submissive or people who have been walked all over in the past usually overcompensate dominance.

However, overcompensation reveals that one is insecure and not really confident, which totally reverses the effect we are trying to achieve.

So, when you project dominant body language make sure you don’t take it too far.


Walking is the first impression you make on a woman. Before you even meet, when they see you walk, they subconsciously interpret your body language attraction level to assess whether you are attractive or not.

So, you must make sure you are giving the right signals of confidence, because that is the first quality women search for in a man and walking in a specific way is an excellent way to show it.

1st keep your shoulders back – pull your shoulders down and back, let your chest open up more. If your shoulders are forward and up it looks like you are trying to protect your neck, as if you are expecting an attack.

It shows that you are afraid of people. If you pull them down and back and expose your neck it shows that you are not afraid of an attack, because nobody dares to attack you. And why is that?

Because you are a badass! It’s a weird concept I know, but the logic behind it is if you are more open to attack it’s less likely you will be attacked because you project confidence and lack of fear. Try it and you will see.

Keep your back straight and your chin up – try to be as tall as possible, imagine if you had a string attached to the top of your head and someone is pulling that string and you hang on it.

You will look taller and more confident. If you slouch, you will send signals that you are trying to be small and unnoticeable. People will think that you are afraid of them.


Look at eye level – don’t look at the ground. When you walk don’t look down, look at people’s eyes. The fact that most people look down when they walk is because they need to look at the ground ahead of them so they don’t fall down.

Another reason is because they are afraid to look people in the eyes. Don’t do that, looking down while walking is a sign of weakness and submission. Always look straight ahead and look people in the eyes, no matter how intimidating they might be.

Look down once in a while to see the ground ahead of you so you don’t trip, but most of the time you should look forward.

Wide strides – make big steps. How do you know if you are making big or small steps? Make steps that are just a little bit bigger than you usually are used to. It will feel uncomfortable at first but as you do it more often you will get the hang of it.

Most people are afraid of walking like that, because it’s easier to fall down, especially if you are looking forward and can’t see the ground. At the beginning you may fall, I fell twice when I was practicing this kind of walk.

Do all the things mentioned above when you walk – make big steps, shoulders back and down, back straight, head up, eyes forward and you will send signals to everybody that you  are confident and have the body language of attraction.


When I first started using this type of walk, I started receiving a lot more attention from women than I did before. There were staring at me and since I didn’t get stared a lot before, I was very surprised.

When you start walking like that you will draw more female attention and you will have to get used to it, attractive people get stared a lot.


Standing is one of the most overlooked body language aspects, but probably most of the time you interact with a woman you will be standing, especially if it’s for the first time and you are in a stand up bar or someplace like that.

The 1st and most important rule of projecting confidence while standing is keeping your feet turned slightly outward. If you open up your legs you show that you confident and open to people, while feet turned inward shows submission.


Ideally, if you put your feet parallel to each other open them just a little bit but not too much or it will look like you are overcompensating. Moreover, your legs should be shoulder width apart or slightly more but again, not too much.

The 2nd rule is not to cross your arms while standing. Crossing your arms looks like you are expecting an attack on your chest and you are trying to protect yourself, it’s a submissive body language trait, which should be avoided in social interactions.

And the 3rd rule is to keep your shoulders back and down and back straight again. I cannot stress this enough, this is the single most important rule of dominant body language no matter if you are walking, standing or sitting.

It applies to all three, make sure you do it at all times.

Or if you have weak core back muscles and just get tired of maintaining straight posture, go to a Pilates class or something like that which strengthens the core muscles of the back.


Sitting is most common in a relaxed social environment. There are a few dominant body language signs in sitting. First of all, keep your legs open. When you sit your legs should be shoulder width apart slightly more.


Again if you open them too much you risk overcompensating. Take up as much space as your body requires, when somebody tries to sit next to you don’t give them space, don’t move, unless there isn’t enough space for them to sit.

When someone comes to sit next to you, think about this: “Would I need space if I were them?” and if the answer is No, then don’t move.

Finally when you talk to somebody while sitting don’t lean forward when you are talking or trying to hear what they are saying. A lot of people do that, especially in noisy places like clubs and such but it’s a submissive body language trait showing that you are needy and trying to please everybody.

So, if you have that problem make sure you solve it by sitting closer to the person you are talking or going somewhere more quiet or whatever way you can think of, other than leaning forward.

This is what dominant body language looks like. It’s one of the most effective ways you can use your body language to attract women. I strongly advise you try these tips and see that in time you will get a lot more attention from women and respect from people overall.

I hope you find this article useful.


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Negative Body Language of Attraction

Just like dominant body language, negative body language is an important aspect of projecting male body language attraction.

If you understand how to use negative body language to attract women, you will have a big advantage over most men in attracting beautiful women and in other types of social interaction as well.

First thing’s first – what is negative body language?


Negative body language is not being mean, insulting or any of that stuff, don’t get confused by the phrase “negative” in it. It’s basically the opposite of positive body language.

It’s when you are not facing someone with your body, when you are turning away from someone. You are showing that someone negative body language.

Whenever you are hitting on a girl, in a bar, coffee shop or wherever when you approach her and begin the interaction you should use mainly negative body language.

You shouldn’t face her directly with your body, you shouldn’t lean towards her or get too close.

Why is negative body language good and positive body language bad?

When you talk to someone, especially someone you don’t know, showing too much positive body language projects neediness. And neediness is the number 1 killer of attraction.

Women will feel creeped out by you. If you’ve seen creepers on comedy shows and movies hitting on women, one of the things that makes them creepy is they show too much positive body language.

In the video below there is a perfect example of that situation. It’s a guy(Darrel from MadTv) hitting on a girl and looking like a creep while doing it.

Of course this example is an exaggeration, but you get the point.

He is trying to be a nice guy, he is staring at her all the time, facing her directly, getting too close, showing too much positive body language and the girl feels uncomfortable during the whole time and you can feel that watching the scene. The whole thing is just awkward and funny.

The whole process of attraction is a game going back and forth. You show some interest and then back up a little bit. She shows some interest and then she backs up a little bit.


And when you show only positive body language from the beginning you take that away from her, she doesn’t have to get your attention, she doesn’t have to chase you.

You are just serving yourself on a silver platter and that kills the game.

A good analogy is a cat playing with a string. If you wave a piece of string in front of a cat, it will play with it and have fun with it. But if you drop the string and say “there, you can have it, it’s yours” the cat will smell it, hit it once or twice with its paws and leave it.


Because it’s not about the string it’s about the game. If you just offer yourself to woman completely and she doesn’t have to do anything to get your attention, she will blow you off 100% of the time, because there is no game.

This rule applies to all kinds of social interaction, not just when hitting on a girl.

For example, if you’re a manager in firm and you show only positive body language and approval to your subordinates regardless of how they do their job, very soon they will begin to do it poorly.

Because they know they will get your approval no matter how they perform, by subconsciously reading your body language.

Let’s get back to attracting women. How should you use negative body language to attract women?

You should use negative body language combined with bantering. When you approach her give immediate positive body language and as soon she focuses her attention on you, turn away or lean away from her for a couple of seconds and smile while doing it.

Show negative body language with a positive and playful attitude.


Negative body language shows of attraction that you are used to talking to hot women and are ready to walk away at any time during conversation and she has to keep your attention and “fight” for you, so to speak.

Very hot women get hit on a lot and most of the guys who are hitting on them show a lot of positive body language, so these women are not used to interact with guys who are showing negative body language.So, when you do it, she will go crazy and do anything to get your attention, it’s really amazing once you experience it yourself.

One of the most well known female body language signs of attraction is positive body language. The more positive body language she shows the more attracted to you she is.

You must keep that in mind, as the interaction goes on and she is obviously falling for you, you should open up and show more and more positive body language.

If you don’t, she will interpret that you are not interested in her at all and will think she doesn’t have a chance with you and leave.

Okay so, that is negative body language explained in more depth, what it is, why it’s useful and how to apply it the right way to get the best results when attracting women.

I hope you find the article helpful.


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Acts of Body language you should avoid

After we’ve discussed so much about how to use body language of attraction to make people more interested in you it’s time to take a look at acts of a body language you must definitely avoid unless you want to make a bad impression on someone.

Putting object in front of you – a handbag, book, coffer cup, etc. Putting objects in front of you indicates resistance, shyness and is usually interpreted as if you’re hiding behind these objects in an effort to separate yourself from others.

Instead of holding objects in front of you, put them at your side when possible.


Checking the time or looking at your fingernails – A very strong sign of boredom.

Don’t glance at the time when you’re talking to somebody.Likewise, avoid looking at your fingernails.

Picking lint off your clothes – The act of picking lint off your clothes during a an interaction, especially when looking down at the same time usually means that you disagree with the other person’s ideas and/or feel uncomfortable about giving them your honest opinion.

Stroking your chin while looking at someone – this says: “I’m judging you!” People usually stroke their chin during a decision making process.

If you’re looking at someone and you’re stroking your chin while doing it, he/she may assume you’re making a judgemental decision about him/her.


Narrowing the eyes – If you want to let someone know you don’t like them (or what they are saying), narrow your eyes while looking at him/her. It places a negative expression on your face.

A slight eyes narrowing is a universal expression of anger across many species in the animal kingdom.

Some people make a mistake and narrow their eyes while thinking. However, narrowing of the eyes is always interpreted a sign of anger, so don’t do it, unless you want to look angry.


Invading personal space – This is a positive body language trait that most people get wrong. We already discussed it in my Negative Body Language of Attaction Article, so here I will just quickly remind you about it.

Standing too close to someone who is not a very close friend, or your significant other makes them feel uncomfortable.

Especially when picking up women, guys who are too close to the girl in the beginning of an interaction are perceived as needy, desperate and even creepy, so don’t do it.

Touching your face while in a conversation – face touching, especially on the nose is usually interpreted as a sign of deception.

Moreover, covering up the mouth is a gesture that people commonly make when they’re lying. Keep your hands away from your face when in a conversation.


Faking a smile – Making a fake smile is another sign of deception. A genuine smile wrinkles the sides of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face.

Fake smile only changes the mouth and lips. It’s not difficult to distinguish between the two. Don’t fake a smile, unless it’s for the camera.

Crossing your arms – Arm crossing is very common among people but it’s a submissive body language trait. It’s the same logic as the putting objects in front of you.

By crossing your arms you are covering your chest as if you are expecting an attack. We already talked about this in the Dominant Body Language Attraction Article. To project dominance you must be open to attack, so for that reason arm crossing is a big no no.

Scratching the back of your head and neck – It’s a typical sign of doubt and uncertainty. It also can be perceived as an indication of lying. Try your best to keep your hands away from your head and neck when communicating with others.

Messing with the collar of your shirt – It says “I am nervous and feeling uncomfortable!”. Once again, keep your hands away from your clothes.

Blinking too much – A clear sign of anxiety. When a person gets nervous he/she usually starts blinking very fast, in conjunction with an increased heart rate.

And since most people make eye contact, pretty soon it becomes obvious to others. Pay attention to your blinking when you’re nervous, especially when someone is looking at you.


Slouching – From all the body language signs that you must avoid, slouching is the one you should avoid the most. Slouching is the biggest body language sign of submission.

By slouching you’re sending a signal that you have low self-esteem, you don’t think you are a worthy as other people, you are trying to make yourself as insignificant as possible.

People interpret these signals and will not treat you with respect. So always keep your back straight and your shoulders back.

Propping your head up with your hands – This screams “I am getting bored!” You send a message that the other person is boring you.

Never prop up your head with your hands and elbows during an interaction. Just put your hands on the table in front of you.

Wiping your sweaty hands on your clothes – a strong sign of nervousness. If your hands a sweating, just let them sweat.

Take a couple of deep breaths and try to relax.

Sitting on the edge of the chair – A clear indication of being physically and mentally uncomfortable.

It’s a weird stance which will make other people around you feel uncomfortable as well. Keep your butt firmly on the surface of the seat. If you lean forward, use your back without moving your behind.

Finger and foot tapping – indicates stress, boredom or impatience. Monitor your habits and keep your limbs at rest.

Playing with small objects – a paper ball, pen, etc. Another sign of nervousness. It’s always best to keep your hands at rest when in the presence of others.


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How to detect if someone is lying by reading their Body Language

In the following article I will show you some lie detecting tips that are widely used by security experts, law enforcement agencies, managers and employers.


These tips can also be useful in situations where telling someone is lying can save you from being hustled, scammed or fall victim of any other kind deception.

However before we get started I must warn you, that in some cases ignorance is bliss.

After you learn this knowledge, you can get hurt when you find out someone you care about is lying to you.

Now that you have been warned, let’s begin, shall we?

This is just a list of common body language signs and verbal cues that indicate someone may not be telling the truth. These signs don’t tell for sure when someone is lying, but someone who has one or more of these signs, is more likely to be lying.

Physical signs of lying:

Their physical expression will be more inflexible and limited, with not much hand or arm movements. Leg, arm and hand movements are more inward, toward their body. A liar shows submissive body language and doesn’t take up much space.

A lying person will try to avoid eye contact with you.

avoiding eye contact yeeee

They will be touching their throat, mouth and face. Scratching and touching the nose or just behind the ears. It is not likely for a liar to touch their chest with their hand.

Emotional signs of lying:

Duration and timing of emotions and emotional gestures are at unusual pace. There is a notable delay in displaying emotions.

The timing between emotional gestures and words also isn’t at normal pace. For instance: If they say: “I love it” when seeing your new dress and smile after saying it, rather than at the same time they say it.

Their expression and gestures don’t match what they say, such as having a bored face expression when saying “I love you very much.”

Fake smile Motherboy

Expressions will be made with mouth movements only when they are faking emotions (surprised, happy, awe, sad) instead of with the whole face. For instance – if someone is smiling naturally his/hers whole face will be involved: cheek, jaw, forehead and eyes.

Signs of lying when interacting and reacting:

Usually a guilty person will be on the defensive. On the other hand, an innocent person will be more on the offensive.

A liar will be uncomfortable dealing with questions and accusations and most probably will turn his/hers head and/or body away from you.

They might subconsciously place various objects (a glass, book, phone etc.) between themselves and you, creating a barrier in a way.

Verbal signs of lying – content and context:

A liar will use the words from your question to answer it. If asked something like: “Did you drink the last beer?” the liar will answer “No, I did not drink the last beer.”

Liar Liar Yeeeaaa

A shorter response sounds more truthful: “I didn’t.” instead of “I did not do it!”

Liars sometimes try to evade lying by making indirect and vague statements. Instead of denying something out front, they imply answers.

A guilty person will speak more than usual, giving unnecessary explanation to convince you because they are not comfortable with pauses in the conversation.

A liar might ignore pronouns and speak in a monotonous context. The pronouns will be emphasized more than the rest of the words when a truthful statement is made.

Words may be spoken in unusual order, grammar and syntax may be off. Their sentences will be more confusing rather clear and precise.

Lie motherbitch lie

If you change the topic of the conversation quickly, a liar will follow along and become more comfortable. A guilty person will want the topic changed, an innocent one will be surprised by the sudden change and will want to go back to the previous topic.

A liar may use humor or sarcasm to make his way out of the uncomfortable topic.

If you notice one or more of these signs in someone, then it is likely they are lying. However, as I said before – it’s likely, not a 100% proof.


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How to execute a proper handshake

handshake jellybons funny

The handshake is an act of body language used when we greet another person.

It has been around for a long time and is arguably the most common form of greeting worldwide. However, it’s not universal.

In some cultures like the ones in the Caribbean and Mediterranean a hug or kiss are favored over the handshake.

In Asia, a short bow is considered a proper greeting, while in the Middle East a woman’s hand is not to be touched unless she invites you to do it, even in formal situations.

Fistbump Baseball

In some cases cultures within cultures, like the sports culture have developed forms of greeting of their own, for example fist bumping and high-fives, which have become popular beyond the sports culture.

The forms of greeting are many and change over time, but if performed poorly, it leaves negative impression.

All of us remember experiencing more than one bad handshake. Either their grip was too loose or too tight or their hand was just sweaty it doesn’t matter, the negative impression it leaves on you lasts for a long time.

But why does a bad handshake stay in our memory for so long?

Well, think about when the handshake was first developed. Two strangers meet on a plain in Africa and they touch their hands to show that they don’t mean each other harm, to reassure each other there is nothing to fear.

When they touch their hands properly, chemicals are released in the brain and one of them is oxytocin, a chemical that creates a feeling of friendship and bonding.

And if the handshake is executed poorly, other chemicals are released – chemicals that leave bad impression. And the bad impression helps us construct a picture of the person we are being introduced to.

Negative feelings created by a bad handshake stay with us for a long time because they are stored in the amygdala – a section of the brain that is responsible for assessing dangerous and unhealthy situations and anything else that threatens us or makes feel uncomfortable.

This section has a very strong memory, so we can remember to stay away from the bad things in life, once we experience them. That why we know we shouldn’t eat weird smelling food or touch a hot stove. So, it’s logical why a bad handshake stays with us for a long time.

So, how do you execute a proper handshake?

First of all, handshakes vary based on the culture. In the Middle East a gentler handshake is the way to go, while in the Western world a stronger grip is preferable. You should mirror the handshake in the culture you’re in, if you’re in France, do it as the French do it, if you’re in India, do it as the Indians do it.

business handshake

In the business world there is one main accepted type of handshake. The hands meet and clasp with equal pressure. Fingers point down or at a slight angle making a grip around the other person’s hand.

The thumb and the index finger point toward each other on back of their hand. The handshake should last as long as it’s comfortable for both parties, but not too long.

It’s always a good idea to follow the handshake of the person with the highest status – if they give a gentle handshake, then you should too, or if they give a stronger one, do as they do.

What to avoid

Eye Contact: Make sure you are looking at the other person’s eyes when shaking hands. Don’t look at the hands or at the ground or at some other distraction.

Sweaty Hands: If your hands are sweaty dry them first. Use a tissue or just wipe them on your legs just before shaking hands.

Dominant handshake: Some people have suggested, maybe you’ve heard it too that you should establish dominance over the other person by placing your hand on top of theirs when shaking.

It’s a bad advice, I’ve tried it, you start twisting your wrist and theirs and it just looks weird and uncomfortable, so don’t try it. If you want to establish dominance over someone, there are far better ways to do it. I’ve covered some of them in my Dominant Body Language Attraction article.

Probing Handshake: I don’t know if you’ve experienced it, but I have a couple of times. It’s basically the other person probing you with their index finger on the inside of you wrist. When someone does that to you it’s so uncomfortable and awkward. So, don’t do it.

Political Handshake

Political Handshake: The political handshake is when you shake someone’s hand and then you use your other hand to cup on top of the shaking hands. Nobody likes it, politicians think by doing it people will like them more, but they don’t.

If you want to touch someone more when shaking hands with them, touch their forearm. The only acceptable situation when you can shake hands like that is when it’s with one of your grandparents, otherwise never do it.

Shaking hands is simple and we easily can get it wrong. Follow the socially accepted norms of the culture you’re currently in and don’t try to show dominance with the handshake. You are being examined when you touch someone’s hand, so make sure you don’t screw it up if you want to leave a good impression on people.


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